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A certain poster was opining that he and others from his home country are picked on around here. I said that it should not be hard to assimilate without losing a sense of self identity.

When He asked what I meant, I responded: "The community here identifies as "expatriates living in Dalian". The fact that we come from dissimilar cultures and are living in a new one is what binds us. It shouldn't be what drives us apart."

And it struck me that the problems around here seem to stem from the fact that many people have forgotten what this site is actually about: trying to assimilate in a foreign land without losing a sense of cultural identity. This site is for Xpats to learn about and even complain about the problems that face us in China in general and in Dalian in particular. It's a site for us to help each other out: answer questions, look for roommates, jobs, and so much more.

The fact that this site has become a quagmire of insults, backbiting, and infighting seems to stem from the fact that some have lost sight of these simple facts.

The moderators are leaderless and the site is foundering.

Jim, this used to be your site, but lately it has become your business and the ownership of the site has transferred to the mob. And the mob has grown fractious and (in some cases) feral. If you want the business to be successful then the site must be successful and right now the site is dying. The site needs a leader that can restore the sense of community it once had. If you are not prepared to be that leader then I suggest you find one and fast.

In the meantime, I would call upon all the members of the community to think about what it is you are doing here. If you are here to be part of a vibrant, diverse community made up of people trying to help each other through times both good and bad (and have a little good-natured fun at the same time) then you need to start acting that way. If you don't want to be part of that type of community then I suggest you move on to some other site because you'll never be happy here and there are other places for you to be angry.

Finally someone wrote something like this to the founders.

Been in Dalian for 2 years now and I have this site bookmarked on startup so I always get an idea on whats happening on the non chinese community.

Found it helpful for directory services, information about living here, things to look out for, some cool events and listings. Met some nice people online too. Even got advice where to check foreign medicine and first aid tips for a friend who had depression attack.

But yeah as the post goes, as time passes the site grew more dramatinc, specially here on the forum. The whole deal with the Goldman thing, Funky M, the olympics, and everyone else who was trying to bite everyone else's head off here.

Really sad to see it I mean, I look at this site everyday, it's turning into one of those noon time drama series on t.v. And it ain't pretty. Quite disheartening.

Except for some new blood who used this site as a steping stone to establish other communities outside, as well as old information that was stocked here, it doesen't really feel like a community website anymore. Its more of a shoutbox.

I am not saying anything bad really, just so sad to watch this site turn out like this.

Not really looking forward to any change, and I do still lool at this site everyday. Hope that the contributers are still out there willing to share what they got. Trivia, tidbits and tips still welcome.

I'm not abandoning this place yet. Still have some time before the sinking ship gets lost in the water.

The Forum is a real question for the future. Is it worth the headache? What is the real purpose of DalianXpat? How does the Forum fit into that purpose? I hope the website community will thoughtfully consider the future of this site and how it can best serve us.

Hello All,
I'm just a newbie here so if I offend anyone, my sincere apologies, but here is a viewpoint on the site. I am planning to move there within the next couple of weeks, as soon as my paperwork is processed, and to find this website was almost like a lifeline to a drowning man! I have travelled a bit, but never to China and I really had no clue what to expect or where to turn to for advice. Already I've met several very helpful people online here, from the US, Russia and China and I am looking forward to meeting more people from this community.

I understand that sometimes groups head in a direction we did not intend or that we don't like, that is life. We have to be willing to do something to change things or to accept the changes we don't want. I have friends in the world, with whom I disagree vehemently on various issues, but we're still friends! I hope everyone will realize that so many of you make a positive contribution to this site and the information it provides to people like myself, as well as to long-timers in your community.

Thanks!
Scott

Coltsfan wrote:

QUOTE:
The Forum is a real question for the future. Is it worth the headache? What is the real purpose of DalianXpat? How does the Forum fit into that purpose? I hope the website community will thoughtfully consider the future of this site and how it can best serve us.

Coltsfan,
As a Pats Fan, I'm sure that you and I could have some interesting conversations in the Forum. Then maybe we could hear from some Giants Fans, Cowboys Fans, and so on.

Without the forum there would be no outlet for the xpat membership to connect with each other about things that are unique to their own cultures.

Supporting the xpat community in Dalian isn't only about finding jobs and a decent deoderant. It's about sharing and listening and offering a moment away from the Chinese culture and reconnecting with the one we left behind.

The Forum isn't the only problem area right now either. I didn't check to see if it was still there, but last week a man was using the Classifieds as way to find Chinese boys for sex.

Getting rid of the Forum wouldn't solve anything. It would only hasten the demise of this site.

Murphy,
I'm extremely happy that you found this site to be helpful and I hope that once you get here you get a chance to meet some of the folks from this site at one of the events listed.

We're here to help.

I hope our internal struggles have not offended you or put you ill at ease about coming to Dalian. Yes, group dynamics change over time, but what many of us want is to preserve this site so that folks like you can find it helpful, interesting, and a place where you can connect with other xpats in a friendly atmosphere.